If a picture is worth a thousand words, then it should also be worth at least a T-shirt. I mean, don’t you think?

That being said, I want to host a little contest here on my blog. See the horrific photo below? There is a true and truly terrifying story behind it. There are people in my life who are well-acquainted with that story, and those people cannot share that story here because it would ruin things for everyone else.

This contest is still open to those people however, as the rules allow them to choose option #2 below. Here is how to participate:

1) In the comments box below, tell the story of this photo. I realize you will be guessing about the circumstances that led to it being taken. This is acceptable. This is, in fact, the point. Flesh out the story like a true writer, but limit yourself to 500 words. Be compelling.

2) If you know the story behind this photo, create an alternate explanation for its existence. In a parallel universe, this photo exists. Tell us the story behind the photo. Again, flesh out the story like a true writer, but limit yourself to 500 words.

In the comments box, please indicate whether you are choosing option #1 or #2. Failure to do this will disqualify you. Because I am on a power trip, and it is fun.

I will select an impartial 3rd party to judge the entries (to-be-determined), and the winner will win a T-shirt (like the ones listed here) designed by me. If you like any art in particular on  my site and it is not among the T-shirt options, I will even go so far as to customize a design for you.

The winner will be revealed on Thursday, June 30th. On that day, I will also share the real account behind this photo. Prepare to be horrified, children.

ADDENDUM (6/14/11): I have added the T-shirt design depicted in the graphic above (and below) as a possible option. My Twitter handle is @Saint_Upid, and it is sort of my online identity in general. If I am a saint at all, I am a stumbling one – a boneheaded one. 🙂