Dear Mr. Coyne:

Yesterday when you were visiting Love Garden here in Lawrence, KS (See local blogger @heartlocalmusic‘s entry about this here, readers), selling gummy fetuses that contained flash-drives filled with Flaming Lips-love, the wife and I were watching our equally gummy-looking fetus on a sonogram monitor at Lawrence Memorial Hospital.

You see, my wife Becki was passing a kidney stone* (as if being pregnant were not difficult enough in and of itself), so we could not stop by Love Garden and get our picture taken with you. While some would weigh coins before buying a gummy fetus from Wayne Coyne, we would not. We would happily trade legal tender for a giant gummy fetus filled with a Flaming Lips flash drive.

Since that opportunity has passed us by, however, and we could not taste of your fetus, we would like to share a taste of ours with you. See below (Note the date stamp for authenticity). Perhaps we should play the Lips’ Embryonic LP for her via womb headphones? Her name is Evie, and she is due in October. I promise she will be a Flaming Lips fan.

Thank you for visiting Lawrence. I do hope you enjoyed the taste of our gummy fetus almost as much as I enjoyed reading about the ones you were selling at Love Garden yesterday. Peace be with you, good sir. Thank you for using your creative gifts. When you feed us your fetuses you remind us that no one should defeat us or discourage us from using our gifts as well.

Sincerely,

Chad Thomas Johnston (@Saint_Upid)

*Note: The doctor did not see a kidney stone, but the symptoms fit the bill. Apparently stones are not always visible, and the hospital could not perform a CAT scan because of the pregnancy, so the doctor resorted to a sonogram instead. There was hydronephrosis of the right kidney where the pain was, the pain itself was acute and colicky.