Preggersville
Vlad's Vlog 3: Revisiting the Zoo of My Childhood as an Adult

Vlad’s Vlog 3: Revisiting the Zoo of My Childhood as an Adult

My parents used to take me to the Kansas City Zoo when I was a child. I remember it well (or at least I thought I did.). I used to beg to see the “flumbingoes” (Is that right, Mom and Dad?) and the sea lions, and probably also wanted to take all of the colossal...
Boys Have Wieners and Girls Have Hamburger Buns

Boys Have Wieners and Girls Have Hamburger Buns

You would think we’d know we’re having a girl because the sonogram technician said, “You’re having a girl!” But no. That’s not what happened. When the sonogram feed focused on our child’s nether regions, Becki, being the knowledgeable medical practitioner she is, looked at the screen and said, “Hamburger buns! There’s the hamburger buns! It’s...
BABY JOHNSTON'S SEX AND NAME REVEALED!!!

BABY JOHNSTON’S SEX AND NAME REVEALED!!!

In the video below, we reveal what we are having. Be afraid. Be very afraid. (What, did you think we’d just tell you without making you work for it?) We created the video on Becki’s iPad with an app called “Puppet Pals.” Thanks to WritRams for pointing its existence out to us! All voices by...
An Open Letter to Buffalo Wild Wings: Grill & Bah-Humbug (Now With Resolution!)

An Open Letter to Buffalo Wild Wings: Grill & Bah-Humbug (Now With Resolution!)

Dear Buffalo Wild Wings, You remember the part in the Christmas story where Mary and Joseph are turned away by the innkeeper because there are no vacancies in the inn? Well on Saturday, April 30th, 2011, you too turned away a pregnant woman who had needs. You did not even offer her a stable where...
Deflated Balloons: From Happy to Sad in Sixty Seconds (An Ode to Pregnancy Hormones)

Deflated Balloons: From Happy to Sad in Sixty Seconds (An Ode to Pregnancy Hormones)

My wife is a brave soul. She is currently on the hormonal rollercoaster that is pregnancy. Unlike other amusement park rides, it has no lines whatsoever, and this is because no one particularly likes feeling alternately happy and sad in quick succession. Watching my wife go from happy to sad without any inkling as to...
A Sandwich for the Savage Beast in My Wife’s Belly

A Sandwich for the Savage Beast in My Wife’s Belly

At 10:00 a.m. every day, my pregnant wife’s stomach demands a food sacrifice be offered unto it. Today at 10:00 a.m. we were in Sunday school. “Do you think maybe you could, um, go to the store to get some snacks, Chaddy?” Becki inquired. “Um, Sunday school just started, honey,” I said. “I bet there’s...
Back When I Hid Behind the Rocking Chair to Do My Business: Snapshots of a Whippersnapper

Back When I Hid Behind the Rocking Chair to Do My Business: Snapshots of a Whippersnapper

When I was a toddler, I apparently used to hide behind the rocking chair when I wanted to fill my pants with miracles. I needed a private place for special moments such as these. Here, Mom caught me in the act. The nerve she had! Would I take a picture of her on the toilet?...
Chad is Going to Be a Dad. Be Glad! (Or Afraid.) Pictures at 11 Weeks.

Chad is Going to Be a Dad. Be Glad! (Or Afraid.) Pictures at 11 Weeks.